Thinking about Marriage at Messiah

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Congratulations on your decision to be married! We at Messiah want to do everything we can to make your wedding service a truly joyful celebration, and even more importantly to help you to prepare for your marriage–your union as husband and wife for the rest of your lives.

Marriage is given

  • that husband and wife may support and help each other, living faithfully together in need and plenty, in sorrow and in joy;
  • that with delight and tenderness they may know each other in love and, through the joy of their bodily union, may strengthen the union of their hearts and lives; and
  • that they may be blessed in having children, and in caring for them and bringing them up in accordance with God's design.

The Bible affirms that marriage is a gift of God in creation. It is a means of his grace, in which man and woman become one flesh. Our Lord Jesus Christ was himself a guest at a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and it is our earnest prayer that he will bless your marriage with his presence, and that strengthened and guided by him you may fulfill his purposes of love for the whole of your life together.

This leaflet is intended to anticipate some of the initial questions most commonly asked about marriage at Messiah:

What are the church's expectations?

Getting married can be a complicated matter-and we do not want to make it more so! However, we do ask just two things of you:

  • that you become actively involved in the life, worship and witness of the Christian family at Messiah; and
  • that you take part in a church-sponsored marriage preparation program.

We make these requirements because we want to help you establish your marriage on a firm foundation in the context of the Christian faith, with the support and encouragement of the church community.

Do I have to be an Episcopalian?

To be married in the Episcopal Church, at least one of the partners must be a Christian-someone who has put their faith in Christ and is seeking to live in obedience to him in the fellowship of the church. If you were raised in a denomination other than the Episcopal Church, you may still be married at Messiah.

What if one of us is divorced?

Divorced people may be remarried in the Episcopal Church, but approval must be received from the bishop before the wedding may proceed. This process is intended to help ensure that your new marriage will be secure and lasting.

When should I contact the church?

We suggest that you get in touch with the church a minimum of six months before your wedding date. This allows plenty of time to complete the marriage preparation program well in advance of the service.

Our marriage preparation program

Called PREPARE, is used by a large number of churches in Minnesota and throughout the country. It is designed to help you:

  • explore your relationship strength and growth areas
  • strengthen your communication skills
  • resolve conflicts
  • explore your relationship and families-of-origin issues
  • develop a workable budget and financial plan
  • develop personal, couple and family goals.

Of course we will also want to take time to consider the spiritual aspects of marriage, and to prepare carefully for your wedding service.

Questions? The clergy at Messiah would be happy to chat with you. You may make an appointment by calling the church office at 651-698-2590.

A Wedding Memorandum

A Year to Six Months before

  • Establish a date for your wedding.
  • Get in touch with the church where your wedding service will be held.
  • Select your wedding attendants.
  • Make arrangements for your wedding reception.
  • If you wish to have a priest or minister who is a personal friend of yours assist at the marriage, ask him/her now.
  • Decide how much your wedding is going to cost and start making a budget.
  • Make arrangements to take part in a preparation program for engaged couples.

Six to three months before...

  • Look for an apartment or house.
  • Choose your furniture, after comparing prices and quality in several stores. Keep in mind your budget and your future dwelling.
  • Make a list of the wedding guests, after consulting both families.
  • Prepare the wording for your invitations and have them printed. Then start addressing them.